How Many Licks DOES It Take?

TWO people emailed Mommy yesterday to tell her they laughed so hard when they read my blog they peeped their pants. Don't worry. Happens to me all the time, and then Mommy cleans it.

I wish I had a follow-update half as funny as yesterday's but the rest of the trip was relatively uneventful. I am actually moving backwards in time to our visit to the Children's Museum which was before we even went to the zoo and I had my first encounter of the gorilla kind.

At the Museum on Saturday they were having some kind of trade show type event where there were booths with candy, and you know, I love candy. I spotted some Tootsie suckers, and decided I HAD to have one! And since Mommy is so up on what's age appropriate for a 1-year old, she said "Okay, you can have a sucker." WELL! TURNS OUT I picked a WINNING sucker and got this lovely free Blue Fish stuffed animal which kept me entertained for all of 3 minutes and then I threw him on the floor. Repeatedly. But Mommy and Daddy brought him home for me and I've added him to my growing collection of Kohl's stuffed animals which let Mommy tell you, are the best stuffed animals for the money. They are cute and cheap and well made. How can you go wrong for $5 bucks? Really! But this Blue Fish, he was FREE! My first official "Prize." And Mommy won him for me by allowing me a Tootsie Roll sucker, which according to Daddy the American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend for children under 3 years of age. PSHAW!

And in case you are wondering, I have no idea how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie center. Daddy took it away from me when I wasn't paying attention which even Mommy had to agree was probably for the best because at that point I was running around with a little white stick hanging out of my mouth.

I have so many more pictures from the museum, all the more reason to keep coming back to see me!

Love,

Lilly

The Birds and the Bees...and duck, duck, GOOOOSE!!!

I had a GREAT weekend! Did you? Mommy and Daddy had a special "Lilly Bean Day" on Saturday with me since it might be the last time I get a whole day with both of them all to myself before Little Sister gets here. It was also the last whole day (and the first in way too long) that Mommy and Daddy and me got to spend time together just us! Daddy has been working so much.

First on Saturday we went to the Children's Museum in Cincinnati which is AWESOME! More on that later, though... I took a good nap on the hour and a half back to Louisville and since it was still early Mommy and Daddy thought hey, let's go to the Zoo! I love the zoo! And I got a special treat at the Zoo! I got to learn about the Birds and the Bees...from the gorillas! That was thanks to Mommy! Leave it to Mommy!

At the zoo, you can get up real close to the gorillas. Well, the BIG gorilla (in the second picture) went after a little gorilla who Mommy thought was a baby gorilla. Turns out, she wasn't! And BIG gorilla started having his way with little gorilla but not before Mommy got all excited and said, "Look, Lilly! She's going to cuddle her baby." Well, "she" was not a "she" at all and all the other kids came to see what was happening and then - bow chick a wow wow (insert mood music here)... "Mommy, what's the gorilla doing?" Said the little boy next to us... Um, oops... So now I know how baby gorillas are made and my poor little eyes are still burning from the experience.

On to the goose!!

This is Mommy's Doctor's office. See the rope and the cones? That is to prevent people from approaching those three columns you see there in the turn-around...see below...

If you look real hard at the middle pillar, you'll see a Momma goose sitting on her eggs in her nest! Well, geese are mean, dirty and nasty creatures. Mommy hates geese. Always has. Stupid geese. Well Mr. Goose was hanging around outside of the door on Friday to protect his Momma and their eggs (BEFORE building management roped off the entrance) and Mommy got attacked by Mr. Goose! This is in itself actually very hilarious to picture a big, fat pregnant lady running away yelling from a biting, hissing goose. But it lost the funny when Mommy got into the Dr's office and the nurse said, "Hmm...your blood pressure is kind of high today." Mommy thought nothing of her brush with Goose Death in the parking lot being the actual cause of this condition. So on she went to her examination room where Dr. walked in all concerned and said, "Hmm...your blood pressure is really high today..." Mommy still clueless. Then Dr. says, "Well, I'm kind of concerned. Your blood pressure is really high and there's protein in your urine (TMI? Sorry) and this late in your pregnancy that makes you a candidate for induction. As you know, I'm leaving tomorrow for vacation...so, you think you're ready to have a baby this afternoon?" Mommy thought about it, "No, sorry, that does not work with my schedule." Dr. says, "Well, your blood pressure is cause for concern." THEN the lightbulb went off in Mommy's head! "Umm...this is a little embarassing but I just got attacked by a goose on my way into the office, could that have raised my blood pressure?" Dr., trying not to laugh in Mommy's face and feign real concern said, "Well...maybe? Why don't you wait an hour and we'll retake it?" So an hour later, Mommy's blood pressure was back to normal. Which means it was the stupid goose. My sister almost came early all on account of a dumb goose. And in case you didn't believe the severity of the attack, the parking lot is still roped off so no car can go through.

All for today!

Love,

Lilly

Walking is Good for Your Heart...

It's finally getting nicer outside! Mommy and Daddy take me on walks every day in my stroller. Last night I decided I wanted to take George on a walk in his stroller. I scooted around the whole neighborhood with him. I was also very careful...I hit a bump and George fell out of the stroller! Uh oh! So I put him back in and strapped him in the safety harness...all by myself! He should have been strapped in the first place, my bad! I got lots of attention from the neighbors out on walks because let's face it, how cute am I walking my monkey around in my little pink stroller? CUTE!

I also included a picture of Mommy's belly and tankles for everyone's benefit. We've got about 2 - 2 1/2 weeks before Little Sister gets here! Mommy went ahead and made lots of plans for me through Easter weekend so we're hoping Little Sister will hold out until after then. But my Teti Kimmie is coming that weekend and she is really hoping Little Sister will be here by then. I secretly hope not so Teti will spend all of her time and attention on me and then come back right away to help Mommy take care of Little Sister. But we'll see, it's hard to plan these things, she'll get here when she's ready! Whenever that is!

Love,

Lilly

When You Wish Upon A Star...

For some reason I LOVE to clean! I will take a wet rag and wipe down everything in sight: my toys, the floor, my belly, etc. The best time of day to do this is after my evening bath. Mommy and Daddy typically let me run around naked and I use the washcloth to clean up. Yesterday I decided to have a little poo poo and pee pee on the floor but I started to clean up after myself! Don't worry, Daddy actually cleaned this up for me while Mommy sat on the couch and laughed hysterically. They had a little conversation about it:

Mommy: "This is a behavior I would like to encourage. She is a girl after my own heart."

Daddy: "No, if she was a girl after your own heart she'd hire someone else to do it."

You see, Mommy recently "invested" in a housecleaner. This is a good investment on soooo many levels. First of all, it was always a dream of Mommy's that someone else would clean her house for her. Ask Duda about it. Secondly, we all know Mommy is a working Mommy and when is she supposed to find time to clean?! Especially with Little Sister on the way?! This makes us all happy because now there is no bickering over whose turn it is to do what. Ms Sandy does it all, every other Monday. Finally, there is actually a return on this type of investment, and that is a clean house. Unlike the non-existing returns on every other financial investment you can make these days.

Ms Sandy is Mommy's dream come true! See folks, when you wish upon a star - dreams DO come true!

Love,

Lilly

I Love Mulligan

Poor Mulligan, we had such a scare this week! He was in the doggie hospital all week and they had to poke, prod and stick him to figure out what is wrong with him. Well, he's just old is all. He is an old man by doggie standards, he's 12 years old and that is 84 in doggie years! That's a good run on a doggie life.

Anyway he's going to be sticking around a little while longer and I'm happy about that because I LOVE HIM! Maybe when Babi and Duda go on vacation next week Mommy can meet them halfway and we can watch him while they're gone. What do ya think, Babi? Call Mommy and let her know. I've got his bed ready and we will kick Kitty out while he's here.

Love,

Lilly

I'm Not Irish...

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day! Happy St. Patty's Day to all you Irish-folks! As far as I know, I'm not one of them. Hard as it is to tell by looking at me, I'm a full-quarter Slav (Serbian AND Croatian), and three-quarters good old American Anglo mutt. I think German and Welsh comprise the majority of my remaining lineage but Mommy doesn't know a whole lot about Daddy's heritage other than the family surnames, which according to the Internet, are German. But there is a McDermott in there, and is McAnything Irish?

I DO know that on my Mommy's Duda's side we can trace his American family all the way back to the Civil War and maybe even further than that! You can Google my great-great-great-great-great-great Grandpa Prettyman Jones III who fought in the Civil War first for the South, and then when it looked like they were going to lose, he switched sides and fought for the North! He was from Tennessee, the Volunteer State, which according to my Uncle Dan makes him neither a true Southerner, nor a true Yankee. Turns out, living in Louisville, Kentucky presents the same debate. Am I really a Southerner or am I a Yankee? Or am I the Southern-most Yankee, or the Northern-most Southerner? It's all very confusing.

Obviously Daddy is a true Yankee. He hails from Ohio and my Grandma and Grandpa from New York State. Definitely Yanks.

Now, Mommy was born in Michigan which is even further north than Ohio, and my Babi and Duda both were born there too so again, Yanks! And if you really want to get on Mommy's nerves, tell her she's from Troy, Ohio because she went to high school there. Never mind she only lived there for 7 years of her life people still TELL her that's where she's from, and Mommy finds it ironic that anyone else could tell her where she's from. If you ask Mommy, she'll tell you she's a Midwesterner and then go on to explain how she's lived in 8 different states and 14 different cities (and counting!) Just ask...but make sure you have some extra time on your hands.

Since I do know I'm not Irish but still think St. Patty's day is fun, Mommy made Green Guacamole, and we had Green Guacamole which neither represents Ireland nor my heritage. It's just good to eat.

Love,

Lilly

Vroom Vroom...

Yesterday we went up to Cincinnati for my friend, Olivia's 4th Birthday! I am still little so I don't really get into socializing but I DID get into riding Olivia's Dora bike! Cool, huh? I am so excited that it's getting nicer out! I love to play outside, I get real excited when we're driving around and I spot a playground. I've developed quite the eye for those!
Pretty soon I'll be big enough to learn how to pedal and then Mommy and Daddy will get me my own trike! Right now I kind of do the scoot. It's pretty exhausting, really but lots of fun! I fell asleep in the car not even 5 minutes after we left the party.
Partying is fun! I hear that's how I came into existence! Thanks, Mommy and Daddy!
Love,
Lilly

This is How I Roll...

Quick! Someone call the Mamarazzi! I'm DRIVIN'! This is how we do it in Kentucky, we're COUNTRY, people! (Remember that famous interview with one Ms. Britney Spears? Neither do I, I wasn't even born yet...) Don't worry, I wasn't *really* driving, I just sat on Daddy's lap while he drove! At least Mommy wasn't breastfeeding me and driving! The things people do when they are driving! I tell ya! Maybe if we all focused a little more on the road and less on our electronic gadgets and baby meal-times, there'd be less accidents and middle finger-flyin'! Not that I've ever seen that, oooooh nooooo, Mommy!

Love,

Lilly

Whole Lotta Nothin' Goin' On...

Well my friends, there's not much to write about this week. I gotta whole lotta nothin'. I'm sick again (surprise!) and I've been sleeping a lot. This has been glorious for Mommy who actually has to come wake me up at 8:00 to get me ready for my Nanny-Sitter's. In turn, this means Mommy has been sleeping in until almost 7:00 which she's not going to get to do for a whole lot longer once Little Sister arrives. Speaking of Little Sister, Mommy's "revised" due date is one month from - YESTERDAY! Scary! And to think I'm still not even potty-trained!

Hopefully we'll have something more interesting soon.

Love,

Lilly

Doing My Part

It seems to me that every day there is more bad news about the economy. This gets to be a real drag for a baby. I get tired of hearing the media say, "It's going to get worse! It's going to get worse!" And then it does! And then everybody talks about how horrible it is and how Obama hasn't fixed anything in his first 100 days in office or that he's doing it all wrong. I will say one thing, I wouldn't want President Obama's job! No sir! But you've heard the expression: "You can be part of the problem, or you can be part of the solution." I think all the whiners are part of the PROBLEM. I have decided to become part of the solution!
So, I took my little goozie to the employment kiosk at Meijer while Mommy and Daddy did their grocery shopping...observe!

You can see here, the big sign that says, "Now Hiring." Fabulous!

Look! This employment application process is so easy a BABY can do it!

"Hello? Yes, this is Lilly Bean. I would like to apply for your openings in the TOY department. So, what kind of employee discount are we talking here? 30%? Is that the best you can do? I'll tell you what, I am the best little toy salesperson you could hope to hire. You can't afford NOT to hire me but I won't work for a mere 30% discount. I need 50%. Minimum! And I want 15 minute cookie breaks every 2 hours and a one hour lunch. I have special dietary requirements that include macaroni and cheese, hotdogs and tater tots. Got that? Good! I can start 2 weeks from Monday. Thank you very much. You won't regret it!"

And just like that I have the freedom and autonomy of my own baby paycheck. No more answering to Mommy and Daddy every time I want to make a superfluous purchase! I can do what I want! I'm a working baby!

YES, I CAN PEOPLE!!!

Love,

Lilly

Look at Me! I Really Do Smile!

We caught a nice day last week so Daddy took me to the park. I love the park! My favorite thing to do is swing. It makes me giggle. I love it even more when Daddy swings next to me, in fact I insist on it! And there is nothing FUNNIER than watching a 6 foot 1 200 lb man fit his goozie on a swing!

It's hard to see, but Mommy thought it's worth noting that I have 4 of my molars in now! I have 12 teeth! I am growing up so fast but I still seem so little to Mommy (probably because literally speaking, I am still so little for my age). But that's a good thing for Mommy these days. Her strength isn't what it used to be.

I hope you all have a good day! I am at my Nanny-Sitters playing with my friends and all of her fun toys right now while Mommy and Daddy are slaves to the grind.

Love,

Lilly

I Just Have to Share...

*At the coffee pot this morning at work...*
Coworker: "You are getting close, Kristen! Look how big you are! Is Lilly excited to be a big sister!"
Mommy: "Yep, getting close. (Thanks for noticing and commenting on my weight gain. Every woman loves to hear about how huge she looks). Lilly's about as excited as she's gonna be. I don't think she really understands that she's got a baby sister on the way but I think she'll know it when she gets here."
Coworker: "Oh, you need to get her ready! Have you explained it to her? That's a big change!"
Mommy: "Well, she's only 16 months old, so it's a little hard to rationalize with her at this point."
Coworker: "Maybe you should read a book on it. It will make it a lot easier on you."
Mommy: "Yes, maybe I should."
So does anyone know of any good books out there on how to explain and rationalize things to a 16 month old? Let me know.

Georg-ia Diva

Daddy is back on "wards" this month which means he goes back on call every four nights which is the PITS! It is kind of fun though becasue Mommy and I eat food Daddy would never approve of, go shopping and buy things we really don't need (today I got another stuffed animal - still no replacement for George so really, a total waste of money) and do really girly things like dress up with Mommy's jewelry! Mommy has a stash of jewelry from her Babi and I learned how to put on clip-on earrings. This was a lot of fun, so much fun I decided George needed a little bedazzling himself.

And I know, I know, I'm starting to get too old for my paci. Well, sue me but I'm not getting rid of it anytime soon. Especially not with Little Sister coming. Here is a picture of me after Mommy took my paci (silly Mommy think you can actually get a picture of me smiling).

Hey, what can I say, I'm a diva.

Love,

Lilly