Farewell Grandpa

Dear Grandpa,

I can't believe this is really good-bye. I haven't stopped thinking about our conversation today - what could I have said to you? How can you fit a lifetime of emotions in one short conversation? Fortunately for me I have a venue - the internet.

First of all let me say this, you always have done things your way. No question about it you should depart this earth on your terms as well. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, it may be harder for some you're leaving behind but it suits you. It suits me, too because it's just your style - and, you are giving those of us who love you and are close to you the opportunity to work out our feelings and the privilege to share them with you before you go. So, thank you for that, Grandpa.

Thank you also, Grandpa, for Dad. He is such an awesome Dad. I hope you know that but I wanted you to hear it from his favorite kid. You should be so proud of him, I know I am and he is an amazing Duda. The girls just love him. He has unlimited patience (a skill he honed raising me through my teenaged years, no doubt) and a heart that could scale mountains.

Your great-grand-daughters are so, so, so loved. They are such good girls. Already only four months old and Anna's sweet little personality is emerging. She is so forgiving of us, and you can tell already how much she adores her big sister. And Lilly? What a spitfire. No surprise there, I'm sure. Every day she says something new, does something new, and it's always hilarious. Joe, as you know is a wonderful husband, also an awesome Dad and we are doing our best to raise them to be good people, better than us. Being married to Joe, and Mommy to my girls are the greatest gifts I have received in this life.

Me, I'm happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. In the past few years I've stopped questioning my "purpose" and started instead to try to be a better person myself. I'm always suffering setbacks. I'm always screwing up. Hopefully, I'll learn something.

I just couldn't let you go without telling you I love you. I know we weren't that close - but - I still think our relationship was special in its own right and I know you love me, too. I promise I will keep your memory alive in my girls. Every time I correct a grammatical mistake I'll think of you (and, try to forgive me mine as it's hard to write this through tears). I promise you I'll read more books. I will learn how to bake those chocolate mint squares you made that I love so much, and the sausage balls, too. I promise you when the time comes, I'll take care of Dad (with help, I'm sure from my sibs who all three love him as much as I do).

I don't know what else to say? I could probably go on and on but most importantly, for myself as much as for you (maybe more for me), I wanted to let you know it's okay with me.

Everything is cool.

I wish you peace, Grandpa. And, I do love you.

Bon Voyage.

Love,

Kris