6 Friends Every Mom Needs

Uh oh...Mommy can't find the cord to connect the camera to the computer to download all 544 new pictures and videos. Mommy thinks she left it at work, so loyal readers, you will have to wait until Monday.
In an effort to keep you all amused over the weekend, as well as offset the heaviness of the last post, Mommy is inspired to share with you her take on a popular article found in a popular Mommy magazine. Mommy has actually seen such article in numerous Mommy magazines before. It is the: "Friends Every Mom Needs/Wants/Should Have" article. Most "types" are just slight variations from one article to another.
Mommy has her own version. Enjoy.

1. "The Mom in the Same Situation"
Why (the magazine says) Mommy Needs One: She understands me. She "gets it."
What Mommy Really Wants: "The Mom Who Is Worse Off Than I'll Ever Be"
Forget about another Mommy who is going through everything I'm going through. BOR-ING. I want a Mommy friend who has got it way worse than I'll ever have! Hubby peed on the seat again? Kids won't sleep through the night (STILL)? Well that's nothing compared to the friend on her third marriage with a 6-year old in juvie! Just a subtle reminder that no matter how bad things get - they will never be THAT bad.

2. "The Pal Without Kids"
Why Mommy Needs One: I need adult conversation.
What Mommy Really Wants: "The Friend Who Will Get Me Shit-Faced Drunk."
Period.

3. "The Been There Done That Mom"
Why Mommy Needs One: She can help me through my frazzled moments.
What Mommy Really Wants: "A Rich Friend With a Little Girl Exactly One Year Older Than Lilly"
With a spending habit - a really impulsive one! And when she's done with all those cute little designer clothes she can give them all to me.

4. "The Do Anything For You Pal"
Why Mommy Needs One: Self explanatory, no?
What Mommy Really Wants: "Daddy to Do Whatever She Says"
Again, self explanatory.

5. "The Glamorous Girlfriend"
Why Mommy Needs One: Inspiration and advice
What Mommy Really Wants: "The Fat, Homely Friend"
This goes back to the friend who makes you feel good by virtue of just existing. If I want to eat Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream and drink sweet tea all the live long day I would like at least ONE friend who does the same and wears pants 10 times larger the size of mine. I don't need anymore "Oh, I'm just naturally skinny I hate to exercise and I can eat whatever I want friends." Pbft on you. You know who you are...

6. "The Brutally Honest Pal"
Why Mommy Needs One: Sometimes even Mommy needs to hear the truth. Like "Yes, you do look fat in those pants." or "Wow, your house looks like a giant toybox!" or even, "Well there was probably a hundred better ways to do THAT!"
What Mommy Already Has: Her own Mommy. And a little sister to boot. I think I'm doing okay in this category.

Thanks for stopping by. I promise lots of pictures next week.
Love,
Mommy