Dear Papa...

Dear Papa,
It's been a year and we still miss you every day.  I show the girls your pictures all the time (all the time) and we talk about you all the time.  Sometimes they'll find the necklaces you gave them, or the monkeys or a little Indian trinket and they'll say your name and that you're in Heaven which is very far away.  I like to think even though you're not here they'll still grow up knowing you and how much you loved them.
Despite the gaping hole you left us with it's been a wonderful year.  I believe you've had some hand in it.  I had the best year ever, Papa in sales (I always wanted to be a sales rep just like you; I used to love in the summers how you could come home for lunch every day and work in your garden; you always loved your job and I knew I would love a job in sales too, and I do).  How many times did I want to call you to tell you about the "big deal" I just won (or lost) knowing how proud you would have been?  I talk to you every night in my prayers, I hope you can hear me.
There have been so many other wonderful things over this past year.  Kimmie graduated from college (with honors!) and moved all on her own down to Greenville where her heart always was.  She found a great job for a sports company and she loves it.  She's getting a dog in a few weeks, a big one that will probably bark a lot.  She's naming her Lulu (actually she's not but that's what we are all going to call her).  Mark proposed to Miss Kimber, and you loved her and so do we.  They bought a little house and you'd be so proud of him.  He travels all over the place for work and he hasn't lost that goofy boyish charm he's always been famous for.  These days he's using it to his advantage.  Dan I think has really finally come into himself and he's settled into his adopted home city of New Orleans.  He got a big promotion at work that he really deserved and he's almost all set to graduate with his Master's degree in a few weeks.  Moreover he's got a group of friends that love him and accept him unconditionally and I know you'd be happy knowing he's finally found his niche.
To me, the most important thing that happened this year was that we were blessed with a beautiful, healthy baby boy.  We named him Jack.  I like how it sounded like a good, solid name for a boy (and a man).  I know you would have been disappointed that I didn't name him Mathew but it was just too soon for me and the hurt was still a little too deep.  Also, Kimmie has always said SHE wants to have a little Matt! ;-)  He's precious to me, and so are the girls.  You would have loved him so much.
One day my kids are going to read this (maybe, maybe not - I think I've got well over 400 posts now - they might get bored!)  I want them to know how much we loved you and how much you loved us kids.  The bond between a Grandpa and his grandkids is so special and important.  There's nothing like it.
You should know, I put a little Papa into my every day.  I really do.  I keep your picture in our car to remind me.  I don't bullshit people.  I talk to strangers - even assholes.  I say what I mean.  I try to put away my grudges - life is too short.  I give more than I take.  I save for a rainy day.  I remember that nothing, nothing, nothing is more important than family - no matter what.  You taught me that and so many other things and I will always love you for it.
I miss you.
Love,
Krissy