I Just Can't Make This Shit Up...

Would you think that 3 kids in Mommy would know to carry certain things with her when she leaves the house for more than 10 minutes?  Like, oh say, DIAPERS?
Well today Mama took Jack to Kohls - every Mama's favorite high fashion shopping centre - and lo, in the middle of Kohl's Jack crapped everywhere in the store provided shopping stroller (thanks, Kohl's!)  I mean, so bad it dripped down the side!  Well, like any good mother would do Mommy thought it best to run the hell out of there (after she wiped up the drippy poo - I mean, I am somewhat civilized) to change Jack in the car.
Nooooo problemo, right?
I mean, Mommy even had a change of clothes ready!  Color her prepared!  So she plopped Jack down on the changing pad, used approximately 50 wipes on his goozie and - voila!  VOILA!  NO DIAPERS.  Feeling for a moment like Mommy MacGyver she wrapped a plastic grocery store bag under his goozie 'cause guess what else?  Oh, she's late to pick up the girls from preschool!
Who thinks a plastic grocery store bag is a good idea?  Raise your hand!
BAD.  BAD.  BAD IDEA.  Just for kicks Jack went and pooped again in the plastic grocery store bag.  This time Mommy had nothing but her own t-shirt to wrap him in to run into preschool to beg them for a diaper.  But wait, Mommy can't take her t-shirt off, I mean - this isn't Daytona Beach, right?  So Mommy takes this naked squirming baby, wraps his legs and goozie in the underside of her t-shirt (whilst showing off her sexy 30 something year old 3 baby midriff!  MILF!) and Jack rewards her by PEEING on her.  Thanks, Jacky!  That's AWESOME!
Finally Mommy gets into the school, is between laughs and tears (because really, what else can you do?) and someone hands her a diaper and says:
"Bless your heart!"  which is Southern for, "You Idiot."
So just as soon as I'm done laughing with you, we're going to put like, 20 diapers in the car along with wipes and a change of clothes for EACH KID.
And probably also, a change of clothes for Mommy.
Love,
Lilly, Anna and Jack