400

Tonight when Mama logged on to Blogger she noticed this is her FOUR HUNDREDTH post on this blog.  FOUR HUNDRED POSTS.  Four hundred times she's gotten on here, posted pictures, assumed a Lilly/Anna persona, kept us all abreast (ha ha, she said breast) of the daily happenings and going on's in our life - all because she's too lazy to fill out a damn baby book.  Look at where that got her!  3 and a half years and 400 posts later - here we are, and here you are, too - still reading.  Still laughing, we hope too and still hopefully sympathizing...still riding along this wonderful parenting/growing up journey with us.  So thanks for that!

But now, Mama, the REAL reason you were blogging tonight...  We had a wonderful evening with Babi and Duda tonight.  Babi spent about 3 hours making a pot roast neither one of us ate (but we did raid the junk food drawer about 4 times each), we played with Duda, Anna pooped and peeped in the potty!  Everything was great, it was a fantastic evening!  Then we got home and the day caught up with us, the grumpies set in, we fought, hit and screamed at each other, and Anna did what she's famous for once we are in the house and she has gone all day using the potty - she peed on the floor.  I'm sure the so-called experts (as well as other parents) will be quick to point out the million things wrong with this but Mama got MAD.  She picked Anna up, put her on the changing table and put a diaper on her and said, "You KNOW better, Anna!"  Then Anna said:
"Mommy - why are you being MEAN to me?"
And Mama didn't know why, didn't know why she was so mad (after all she peed on the bathroom rug which goes right in the washer) so she cried.  And Anna cried.  And they both cried and held each other.  I didn't quite understand what was going on so I sat down on the couch next to Mama and rubbed her back which made her cry more.  Because I'm 3, and I shouldn't have to be comforting Mommy while she has a breakdown but there I was...
Girls, Mommy screws up.  I know this, and I never try to lay claim to being a perfect parent.  But I try to be the best Mommy I can to you, the best way I know how.  This shit is hard.  I never know when my mistake might screw you up into oblivion, I never know.  All I know is I really hope you don't go telling Mary Lou I was mean to you last night and then I have to explain myself but then, Mary Lou has seen me drop you both off when we're all in tears and God love her, she doesn't judge.  Anyway, I love you both so much.  Even when you pee on the floor, when you hit and bite each other and the cat, when you scream bloody murder in my face, you know the list goes on.  Being your Mommy is the best part of my day, every day and I love you and Anna Bear, I'm sorry I was mean.
Love,
Mommy